I am having one of those days where I wonder “why am I friends with so and so.”
I’m struggling to remember why I’m trying g so hard for a friendship. It sometimes feels one sided. I know friendships are hard work but not so hard you crawl into bed tired from a friendship. And surly no friend should make you feel bad about something.
I got engaged last September and asked my friend to be my maid of honor and Thomas asked his best friend (who is also mine) to be best man. All was great.
Then in March both parties met online through me. Within 3 weeks they decided to meet. Meaning my maid of honor baught a ticket to meet for roughly 5 weeks later. And being as they are both my friends and Thomas happens to be stationed with the best man I decided I’d go along as well.
So if your keeping track maid of honor and best man have known each other online for about 8 weeks.
We went on a week long trip.
Tally it up 9 weeks.
When 3 days after we got back my maid of honor tells me her and best man are getting married. I didn’t agree with them but being as they are my friends I’ll help support them. But no matter what I want them happy.
About 3 weeks later she Flys out there.
Tally it up 12 weeks
Then about 3 more weeks they get married.
Tally it up 15 weeks knowing each other before they got married.
In this time frame I worked VERY hard to find a way to last minute fly myself out there. Unfortunately Thomas and I had absolutely no extra cash sitting around. I felt awful. But I made sure they were aware we tried and that I wished them well and I’d see them soon.
Well now about 3 weeks later and about 4 weeks from my wedding my now matron of honor sends me an email. That turns out to be very hurtful.
In it she says she’s hurt and upset I didn’t go to their wedding. And how they are having to pay much more to go to my wedding than I would have to theirs. She goes on to say because they are coming to my wedding it means they can’t have savings or have a place of their own.
She even goes as far to say “how would you like it if we said we couldn’t go to your wedding because we can’t afford it?”
I’m over here like
1st my wedding was planned long before you two even met
2nd I truly had no money to purchase tickets. I even tried seeing if I could skip a utility bill to make it work. I looked everywhere with Thomas for extra money and we just couldn’t come up with anything.
3rd I had class that I care very much about and couldn’t miss.
4th I had work and it’s hard to find subs at my job.
5th I can’t afford to take to much time off especially since I’m taking almost a month off for my own special day and again for my externship and again for my mom’s surgery.
6th Thomas and I didn’t trade in a perfectly good car for a brand new 2015 car when we’re saying we have very little money.
I’m very upset she tried making me feel bad that they are coming to my wedding and I wasn’t at theirs. I already feel bad. And my wedding wasn’t rushed. So originally money wasn’t an issue. You can’t blame me for things you decided to do in a rush.
I’m just not sure where to go from here with my relationship with them. What’s worse is I tell Thomas everything and I’m not sure she tells her husband anything.
So if Thomas and I decided to tell them just not to come to the wedding. I’m not even sure he’ll know what’s going on.
I guess I thought I had a better friendship with them than that.
Oh what to do what to do….????