#heartofawarrior

So if you’ve followed my blog long enough you’d know I had an ectopic pregnancy before I had my daughter Kairi. I used to think in had the strongest heart to be able to handle that situation the way I did. To grow and become an even better mom after a loss. And I still believe this….

But…. I met a lady in my MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) who talked about struggling with infertility and had multiple losses and failed attempts. But even after all the loss she kept trying. She never gave up. Then one day she finally had her rainbow baby.

To see that kind or strength made me realize that I may have a warrior heart but she is the true warrior.

To those women and families that struggle with infertility, miscarriage, infant loss, and anything in between you are the true MVPs. You are the best parents because even through all that you still have the strength to be amazing. And those of you who haven’t had your rainbow baby I still think your MVPs. Because even though your babies Might Not be in your arms you still have scuba strong love for them.

Talk soon,

Marena

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#momlife

Ah yes Mom life…. The never ending journey of growth!

Technically I became a mother the day I found out I was pregnant with my angel baby. I never expected my first mom life momemt to be mixed with such joy and sadness in such a short time. I knew I was pregnant for 2 weeks before I found out I had lost my baby. I then spent another 2 weeks of technically being pregnant and another month after that where I was no longer pregnant but my body felt like it was. I went from being so excited and ready to being a mom to wanting to crawl under a rock and never come out.

I talked with people and shared my sadness but I never truly told anyone how much pain I was in. Not even my husband. It was a pain that I just couldn’t explain. And honestly it was a pain I felt I deserved. Now don’t get me wrong I knew there was nothing I did wrong and sometimes these things happen. But all I could think was how it was MY body that couldn’t grow this baby and MY body rejected not anyone else’s. Mine! I read a few books and prayed a lot and I finally came to turns with everything. But even 2 years later I still have my moments where I fall back into that sadness and anger at myself.

But then I got pregnant with my daughter Kairi. I had a new mom life moment. One filled with joy and happiness. One that’s also filled with sleepy nights and cold meals. You know because if baby doesn’t sleep then I don’t sleep. Not to mention everyone’s gotta have food before I even get a moment to sit. But I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Then it leads into my new mom life moment! I officially got the all clear to try for another baby! Even with all the crazy in my life I’m excited to go at it again! Baby number 2 here we come!

Talk soon,

Marena

30 Days of Thankful

November 22, 2017

Today I’m thankful for fast food. I haven’t been well so I haven’t really been able to cook. Meaning my husband just got fast food and that was fine.

Even bettet was there is no clean up at my house! That’s great in my opinion for normal everu day. But it’s even better as we head into Thanksgiving.

Talk soon,

Marena

30 Days of Thankful

November 16, 2017

Today I’m thankful for modern technology. 

Living in Hawaii is great. The problem is it’s SO SO SO far away from my family. I love the ability to hop on facebook and see updates on everyones lives. Or give my mom a quick call to ask for advice. Or really just to call anyone and hear their voice.

I love writing letters and the anticipation for the next. But it’s always great to talk with friends and family quickernthan a letter.

I just wish there was a way for mw to have a pen pal.

Talk soon,

Marena