Lessons From the 10 Day Self-Love Challenge

Well I did it! I took 10 days to dig deep and truly love myself. Each day I found I had a little different perspective on my life. Some days were super easy and others I really had to think. Let me tell you those days were hard.

I found I spend my day to day life acting and telling others how much I love myself and cherish myself but in reality I’m my own worst critic. I put myself down, give up, have bad thoughts about myself, and so much more. But I also have moments where I show myself love and thats good but don’t acknowledge it and that’s bad.

I started this 10 Day journey questioning if I couldn’t love myself how was I supposed to teach my daughter to herself. Although I may not be a rock star yet I feel like I’m on my way to being the next Sheyrl Crow. (Okay don’t laugh at the comparison but it’s the best I had). I found that even recognizing the simplest of things is a great way to show love to myself. I don’t need to have some big gesture to show myself in great, special, and mean the world to myself. Heck even taking a moment to relax in the bath is great way to show appreciation to myself.

All in all I found this self love challenge was pretty great!

I think once a week I’m going to sit down when I can find some alone quiet time and reflect on all the great things thing happened to me. And throughout the reflection I’m going to give myself an imaginary pat on the back. Reminding me just how great I truly am!

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 10

Day 10: What is one thought about yourself you need to let go?

Often times I find myself saying “I can’t” several times a day.

I can’t go to the beach.

I can’t wash the dishes tonight.

I can’t make dinner.

I can’t take it anymore.

I can’t be the first to talk.

I can’t lead a group of women (referring to my MOPS group).

I can’t commit to a bible study weekly.

I can’t do that.

I can’t drink that much water.

I can’t this.

I can’t that.

It doesn’t matter the day or the sentence but I’m telling others and myself I can’t do something often. I need to realize I CAN do so much. The task could be extreamly simple or extremely hard yet I count myself out before I even give it a try.

Saying I can’t right away has lost me so many opportunities to make new friends and do new things. Sometimes it’s made me so stressed the next day I feel overwhelmed. Or it’s made me miss out on a special moment with my husband and worse yet a special moment with my daughter.

I want to let go of the feeling that I “can’t” do something. I want to replace it with I can! And I will!

And then actually do it!

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 9

Day 9: What do others always compliment you on?

When I asked my husband what I’m most complimented on he asked from him or the general public. I told him either and he said my butt. 😂

Good with children.

Kind.

Understanding.

Artistic.

When people are complimenting you they are not lying. Most likely you’re just not taking them seriously.

I need to take more time to really listen to others when they have nice things to say about me. But mostly I need to try harder to believe them. I also found I need to start complimenting myself. Not in a conceded way but in an I love myself way.

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 8

Day 8: 5 things your are grateful for and why.

1. My parents. Without them I wouldn’t be here. Without them I wouldn’t know joy, happiness, or love. They have always been so passionate about showing us joy and happiness that there was almost never a day where I was just completely sad or angry. But most importantly they constantly loved me even on the days where they probably contemplated pushing me off a cliff. 😂 I could be a little tough to handle.

2. My husband. As a young girl who looked different I often worried I’d never find someone to love me and find me beautiful. But then I did…. My husband makes it a goal to show me how beautiful i am and how much he loves me on a daily basis. So much like my parents my husband also helps me have veryy few completely sad days.

3. My children. My first that I lost from an ectopic pregnacy taught me what it truly means to lose something. Now I’ve been around death and I’ve lost family member but for some reason this loss touched me more than anything. And my daughter Kairi taught me what it truly means to have something. Both children have taught me a lot and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

4. A roof over my head. So many people take this for granted. Living in Hawaii I think I’ve seen more homeless people than I ever have before. It makes me so grateful that my life is strable enough to allow me and my family to have a warm dry home to come to.

5. I’m thankful for my MOPS group. MOPS has been so amazing! I’ve met so many new people and I feel like I’ve grown as a woman, wife, and mother and it’s mostly because of MOPS!

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self Love Day 7

Day 7: How do you take time for yourself? Write down 5 things you do to wind down.

1. Warm bath! With bubbles. Lots and lots of bubbles.

2. Read a chapter or two of a book. Usually a romance novel.

3. Watch a t.v. show while snuggled with my husband.

4. Make sure my daughter is fully asleep. This may be strange for some of you but if Kairi is asleep and I can enjoy my evening So much. All because I’m not worried about her.

5. Dishes and Laundry. Again might be strange but I get into a rhythm and it just feels soothing. Unless there is a very large amount of dishes and Laundry or I’ve stood all day and my feet hurt. Most often it’s very soothing. Often times it even makes me tired and ready for bed. Anything to make sleep easier is always great!

What do you do to unwind?

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 6

Day 6: What does love mean to you and how do you show it to yourself?

Love to me mean it’s unconditional. So I find it crazy that even though I feel that way I still have MANY days where I put conditions on myself.

I have to eat healthy ALL the time.

I have to be the perfect wife.

The best mom.

I need to exercise every day.

I need to do and be this or that.

Then I find myself at the end of the night so upset if I didn’t accomplish something I felt I HAD to do. Then that leads into waking up the next day already feeling down. I need to try harder to stop putting conditions on the love for myself. Sure I should exercise and eat healthy but that doesn’t mean I have to be super strict or even feel bad if it didn’t happen. All in all I’m a healthy person, a wonderful wife, an amazing mother, and even a pretty nice person. That’s all that should matter.

The next part is how do I show myself love. That’s probably the most easy thing I could answer. I pamper myself and allow myself to have moments of relaxation. I take moments in the sun and just suck in the rays and feel the happiness sunshine makes me feel. I allow myself to smile even on the gloomiest of days.

However, I Definetly know I could find more and even “better” ways to show myself love. And maybe I should but right now I’m just thankful I have moments where I do show myself love. Even if I don’t always realize I’m showing myself love in that exact moment.

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 5

Day 5: What are some things you are really good at?

*Remember to keep the cockiness away.

Here are 5 thing I think I’m really good at!

1. Cooking. Not only do I love to cook but I often receive many great compliments. So this leads me to believe I’m a good cook.

2. I believe in a really good mother. My daughter means the world to me and ever smile and giggle that comes out other mouth reminds me of how great a mother I am. Not to mention she’s physically growing so that’s gotta mean something towards motherhood right? 😆

3. I LOVE photography. I might not be amazing to everyone else but I love the eye for photography I have. And actually I’ve been told by others I do well so those moments really help my enjoyment for photography really grow.

4. I also believe in pretty good at finding adventure in everything. Even in really hard times.

5. I think I do pretty good under pressure.

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 4

Day 4: What would your younger self be proud of you for today?

I believe my younger self would be proud of the fact I’ve grown up. By that I mean I used to argue with everyone and I felt the constant need to always be right. Now don’t get me wrong I still have my moments. Especially whenever I go home to visit. For some reason with my parents I seem to always fall back in the spiral. However, I’m getting better with that too so that’s good!

Unfortunately even though I feel my younger self would be proud of this I still find many people still think of me as the same high school teenager.

In fact I mentioned on Facebook how I try not to comment on posts where people are arguing. I’d hate for someone to argue back the sky is green after I say it’s blue. A family member decided to comment and say and I quote “as much as you like to argue or prove your point that’s hard for me to believe you’re strong enough to turn your back from drama.” And she said this very openly for anyone to see. I got so angry I screenshot the comment then promptly deleted the comment off my post. I didn’t want anyone to see it especially because I found it rude and inappropriate. Not to mention hurtful. I was so angry I saw red.

This story leads into another thing my younger self would be proud of….

I wanted to come back with so much anger and I wanted to say so many things to her that I know for a fact would NOT have been appropriate. Instead I found myself stepping back and taking a moment to calm down. I also talked my anger out with my husband and my mother. After a few minutes my anger wasn’t gone but I was no longer seeing red.

So basically what I’m saying is my younger self would be so proud I can now avoid drama, calm the anger, and most of the time not argue and feel the need to ALWAYS be right.

What are some things your younger self would be proud of you for now?

Talk soon,

Marena

10 Day Self-Love Day 3

Day 3: How do you show yourself love on a daily basis?

As I sit here trying to figure the answer out I realized I don’t…. I don’t show myself love. Not really… I used to take a bath every night just to relax and have time to myself.

But for some reason I stopped doing that. Now I can’t even find anything else I might do to show myself love.

Lately I’ve set a goal to drink 60oz of water a day and go on a 1 mile walk every day. Thast counts as loving myself right? I’m challenging myself to keep my physical body healthy.

So because I can’t truly think of a way I show myself love I’m going to come up with 3 ways I could show myself love. Then…. I’m going to do it!

The first way is to get back into taking a nightly bath to relax and just spend some time alone.

The second way I’ll show myself love is to fix my hair. Not just simply brushing it or throwing it in a ponytail. Honestly you can’t feel bad if you look fantastic right? I mean if I have high spirits from looking nice that’s a form of love.

The third way I’ll show myself love is every morning I’ll tell myself 3 things I love about myself. The other day we talked about positive affirmations. So every morning I’m going to reaffirm the things I enjoy about myself.

How do you show yourself love?

Well I’m off for a bath! I might even throw in some bubbles.

Talk soon,

Marana

10 Day Self-Love Day 1

Day 1: 5 things I love about myself.

1. I love the color of my eyes. No matter how terrible a day has been I can look in a mirror and fee like I’m drowning in the color of my eyes. Sounds a little strange but honestly something about the color makes me feel at peace.

2. I love being a wife and a mother. Nothing prepared me for the joys I’d have as a wife and a mother. Every morning I’m so happy to hear my husband tell he loves me as he heads off to work. And my heart turns to mush the second my daughter wakes up and yells Mama with her soft little voice. I think I kick butt at being a wife and a mom but honestly I don’t always give myself the credit and ove I deserve as one.

3. I love my ability to make friends. As a child and teenager I struggled to make true friends. But over the last few years I’ve made some of the best friends possible and I love that about myself.

4. I love my hands. I was born with 4 finger on each hand some webbing on one hand. Over the years especially as an adult my hands have been the thing I love the most about myself but it’s also the thing I’ve hated most. I hate being looked at funny or treated poorly. If like to let go of hate because my hands have been one of the biggest factors in who I am today. Plus once again I realized if I hate something as simple as that about myself then I can’t teach my daughter to love every physical feature she has.

5. I love the amount of love for others I feel. No matter if I just met you, met you years ago, you’ve done me wrong, or you haven’t I love you with all my heart. Something in my just says I have to love you. It’s as easy as, 123 as simple as, do re mi. Seriously the easy love I feel for others reminds me of the Jackson 5 song.

Let me be honest this was easy but also hard. It’s like I coudnt easily come up with things I love about myself but then when I did come up with one I would think to myself, “that was easy why did I complicate it”.

What are 5 things you love about yourself?

Talk soon,

Marena